Ginger_sister’s Neighborhood

Tonight I was listening to love songs and feeling empty. Many years ago I took the Joshua Harris approach to dating. I felt that it was better to not give my heart away to anybody but God and my husband. I am now approaching the ripe old age of 33 and not dating has been an enormous success for me. In my whole life, I have had a handful of dates. I have never really been kissed, never been in love. When I was young the choice was simple and easy. I wanted to save all of my heart for my husband and not give it away a little bit at a time in relationships that wouldn’t last. As more time slips by and marriage seems less and less of a possibility for me, I question the simplicity of the choice I made. I loved the idea of only loving one person my whole life. I never seriously thought it was possible that I would never marry. As the years stretch out before and behind me, I think that would rather have left a little of my heart behind with somebody even if it was the wrong somebody. As I listened to other people’s tales of longing and unrequited stuff, I cried as if my heart was not whole. Along the way I think I have given away parts of my heart but to the idea of being in love not to an actual relationship. Now I question if it is better to keep my heart whole or is it better to have experienced what it is like to fall in love? The bad with the good? I still love the idea of loving only one person but I want that even if that one person does not end up as my husband. I wonder now if when I am old if I will regret never being in love or if I will cherish the wholeness of my heart? At this point, I regret the things I have missed. A high school sweetheart. A prom date. A first kiss. A last kiss. If I had dated I would probably have a whole other set of regrets. Which side of this choice is easier to live with? Am I better off having an unspoiled heart only missing what I imagine or would I rather be a bit broken, regretting things I wish I could take back? At this point I would live with the heartache just to have had the experience.

I had an adventure last night.

I sang in a National Trust Property for a special event with my choir. We're going back again tonight. The Place was beautiful, and the room we sang in was spectaculare - almost a Cube of marble. The accoustics were amazing - although you did have to get used to the echo. Fantastic night, and really enjoyed it. can't wait for tonight.

The adventure happened on the way home. Because of low car parking spaces, we car pooled there. I and another girl got a lift with a man, R, who drove us there and back. On the way there, he decided to go via back roads (to avoid conjestion through the towns) and drove over 2 really big Potholes. We did check the tires and wheels when we arrived, as they were enough to jar us. He thought there might be a bit of a dent on the front pasenger side wheel, but that all was OK.

We went home via the main roads. The A24 is a Dual Carriageway. Not quite but almost a Motorway/Highway for my American Friends. As we started building up speed, the car didn't sound right. It sounded almost as if the Seatbelt on the passenger side had been caught in the door and was flapping in the wind. We slowed down for a bit and it was fine. Then we came to another faster section and it sounded worse. We talked about how it sounded and that there was a garage a couple of miles away that we would pull over in.

Then the tyre came off the wheel.

At 60 miles per hour.

Thank God he was able to stop in a straight line and there was no one behind us.

We phoned for the AA (AAA in the states) and they promised to get out to us asap - but it would probably be about an hour. I phoned my dad to try and get a lift home, as the AA would have to tow the car (no spare tyres in Hondas - they only give that spray foam stuff, which is no help when you have no tyre) to a garage, and we'd have to get home from there anyway.

Dad was really helpful and arrived just as the towtruck arrived. I got home at 00:10. I then had to make myself some supper as I hadn't had anything before the concert. I stuck in an episode of House season 5 (Love/Hate relationship with House) to calm down, and didn't get to bed before 1:25am.

I still had to get up for work at 7:00 this morning - only just made it, I fell asleep on the train - rare for me - and my train buddy woke me up as we got into the station!

Thank God all is OK and the Car will be fine too.

She has finally been able to book her flights!

I got a text message while I was sleeping to let me know!

I completely forgive her!

I'm really pleased - I haven't seen her in 3 years!

Did I say I was excited?

:o)

I really hate this!

This is now the 3rd time in 7 weeks that I've been off work because I'm ill.

I really am not trying to get ill!

This time it's suspected tonsilitis...My throat seems to be on fire.

Did I mention I hate being ill?

Look busy at work when you have nothing to do but wait for responses from other people who aren't at work?

I tried and failed to load up a song that I sang with my choir earlier on Vox, so sent it to my sister - click here to listen to it!

I hope it brings a smile to your face!

Bob Chilcott, I love your arrangement! Epsom Chamber Choir - YOU ROCK!

:o)

I hate getting ill. Really hate getting ill.

I will work though the somewhat ill stages until I can't help but face the facts that my body is shutting down on me,

I did that again this week. I woke up on Saturday morning with the worst headache in the world - and somewhat sensitive to light.

I went to a Prophecy school - a once a month meeting to encourage and help grow in prophecy. The first one in our church, so important I went. Then crawled home and went to bed - for 5 hours.

I got up and made the promised Chilli Con Carne I had promised a friend for Lunch on Sunday and faced the facts that I was completely worn out.

I phoned my friend and told her. I also said my flatmate would take some chilli to church for her as I had already made it and it needed to be eaten. I phoned my flatmate to make her agree to do that for me and to tell her that I was going to talk to my parents about getting some TLC while I was ill.

I phoned up my parents and mom agreed to come and collect me later. I watched a TV show, as she arrived and washed my dishes for me, then took out the rubbish and nearly collapsed. I couldn't believe how weak I felt.

Mom helped me take my packed bag and the Chilli home to theirs, and I basically slept 42 out of the next 70 hours.

I'm doing a lot better today, but still not back at work to make sure I'm over it!

Really hate being ill!

My boss just called me into his office. Because I am officially covering a maternity leave position, my job isn’t really as secure as I’d hoped it would be. Even though the person I’m covering is not really good at her job at all!

I’m officially hired through the end of the year, but have a 1 week notice period on both sides!

I have constantly heard that not only my original boss (who is now on maternity leave) but my current boss and most of the office do not want to loose me, but with the lady I’m covering wanting to come back 2 days a week, we are now in a bit of a sticky situation.

My job won’t cover 7 days a week.

Because of some of the changes already made, once the purchasing side is taken away from me (a second maternity leave I’m covering) it could be a struggle to cover 5 days a week.

Of course, some of those changes were made because I was covering 3 maternity leave contracts (one full time and two part time) and couldn’t cope! Now I’m coping and the two of us working on the 3 roles are too efficient.

I’m basically working myself out of a job.

My boss has asked if my job could be done in 2 days a week.

If I weren’t doing the purchasing, it probably could be – as long as the person doing it was good enough – and the changes remain as they are.

My job ebbs and flows depending on how busy we are and how many conferences there are and what is happening within the department.

I’m finding myself a lot less busy than I was, and most of my business comes from the  purchasing.

Now my problem is this: How do I keep hold of my job?

From what I understand of UK Maternity laws, if you come back after 6 months, then you are entitled to a job with the company, but not necessarily the same job. However, they seem to be trying to find a role for her within our department again. Which means my job.

My boss did ask if I’d be able to take on 3 days a week rather than 5 (ie, a job share), but I really can’t live on that little. I need a full time job, and it does look like I’m not going to be guaranteed that here anymore.

I used to be a lot more secure in that, but I’m not anymore.

The things going for  me are my working ethic – I do my work well! – my willingness to adapt the role I’m currently doing, and the fact that the entire team don’t want to loose me – including the field sales force.

The things going against me are: I’m not a permanent member of staff. Although I am employed by Nestle, I’m still only on contract.

Please Pray!

Did you ever run away from home?

My sister caused me to!

See her post here: Ginger_sister

I was inspired by my friend, artzycarmen, to let people know what I remember of 9-11, as I was in London at the time.

At the time, I worked in the largest cinema in the UK, the ODEON Leicester Square - the equivelent to the Kodak Theater in California for the UK and Europe. We held both European and World Premieres of Films, had royalty attend, and even held the BAFTA Film Awards for 5 years running.

Obviously, the UK is about 5 hours ahead of New York, and so we first heard about things happening about 2pm in the afternoon. I didn't have to work until 5pm, so was taking a small afternoon nap when things kicked off. When I woke up at 3 to start getting ready for work, I turned on the TV, thinking I'd just watch some silly kids shows till I was ready to go, and instead got the breaking news. I tuned in after the first tower had collapsed, and sat transfixed as the second tower collapsed in front of my eyes. I remember being in shock and thinking it couldn't be happening. I also remember feeling more American then than I had in many years after living in the UK for half my life at that point.

I went to work to find that a few people had not turned up (scared that there may be UK versions of the attack on famous places), and that me turning up made them be suspended and one to be fired (in the end). We sat during the films with the TV in the office on watching for more updates.

As the final films were finishing (at 11pm) one of my staff phoned me in the office to say that there was an unmarked sealed box in one of the empty screens.

I went to go check this out, and realised this was something I needed to take further and ordered him to ensure that no one was in that section of the cinema, nor were they allowed to enter.

I phoned my immediate boss to let him know what was happening and he told me to phone the police asap.

I phoned 999, and explained the situation and heard: we're transfering you to scotland yard now, please hold.

I gave all my details, explained it all again, and they told me to go and wait for the police that were on their way.

I went upstairs as the final film finished to find that someone had had her wallet stolen. Because the police were coming for something else I couldn't say out loud in public, I asked one of my team leaders to take her to the office and help her cancel her cards, report the loss to the police on the phone and such. I explained to her, as the police were arriving, that I had another incident to deal with and couldn't be with her and she had the audacity to say - you mean they're not here for me? I told her no, but I couldn't go into the reason they were here, and she strode off in a huff - never cancelling her cards or using our offered help.

The police were great - they came into the cinema and went to veiw the box. They then told me to wait outside the room while they opened the box. They were normal policemen in anti-stab vests, and that's it, no bomb squad uniforms or anything!

Thankfully the box didn't explode, not would it have. It contained a phone charger.

I was not best pleased.

I had to write up two incident reports - one for the bomb scare and one for the stolen wallet, and didn't get out until midnight.

The only good thing that happened from the whole evening was a free taxi home as I'd missed all public transport!

Over the next few days and weeks, I was releived to know that there was no one I knew who had been caught up in the twin towers, although there were stories that broke my heart and encouraged it of people who decided to get some donuts for the office and so were late and missed being in there, or whose kids were sick and didn't go in because of that. I also met with a friend who was in New York that day - his hotel was a couple of blocks away, and he ended up being caught up in the dust and problems. He didn't tell anyone except imediate family until he was back in the UK as most people didn't even know he was there!

I am saddenned by the loss of life, not only in New York, but in Afghanistan and Iraq since then, and pray that God will help us all bring peace to earth quickly and painfully.

May you all be blessed in your lives, knowing God with you in all you do.